16 weeks & 5 days

It's been a month since I've blogged. I'm feeling quite lazy lately. My poor vegetable garden is more weed than vegetables. Perhaps my mood is cuz we haven't had decent rain in a long while - perhaps it's cuz I'm still puking every morning. That takes a lot of out of me.

I'm doing well - 16 weeks & 5 days. My belly is rounding out. I'm looking less lumpy and more pregnant. I've been able to feel baby moving around a bit since week 14. It's been hiding in the back more when we go to listen to the heartbeat. Stinker.

I only have a few items of my non-maternity clothes I can wear lately. This pregnancy, I am able to spend money on clothes for work, which is nice. Styles have certainly changed since I was pregnant with Madeline 6 years ago!!!

We have our next ultrasound on August 4th - just 2 short weeks. It's a big one where they look at the baby's organs and heart and possibly even tell what 'flavor' it is. Yes, we are going to attempt to identify the sex of the baby. We might even tell you if you ask nicely. :) We will wait until baby is born to name it officially. Madeline is sure the names will be either Isaac or Purple Iris. I told her we'll take those names into consideration.

Long time ... no see

I've been in hibernation.

I'm ready to blossom.

I'm ready for spring.

I'm ready to attempt pregnancy yet one-more-time.

More after this brief announcement...

We are pregnant!

I'm high risk due to 2 miscarriages last year and being so blessed old, so I get weekly ultrasounds for the time-being. Saw the little peanut this morning. So small yet - only 7 weeks along on Wednesday) but its heart is good and strong @ 130+ beats per minute.

I'm happy and cautiously optimistic.

:) Welcome SPRING.

What now?

If you are reading this, undoubtedly you've noticed I haven't spent a lot of time blogging. Looking back this past year, it's been a vehicle to vent my frustrations and anguish about the miscarriages. So now what the heck should I use it for?

I could talk about the weather in Green Bay, Wisconsin: (it's 9°F, feels like: 5°F today).

I could talk about Madeline: (she's 5 going on 13; still loves princess; she just told me she wanted to be an astronaut; she knows the order of the planets; she is really funny).

I could whine about how much my knee is bothering me: (I blame it on my father sharing his genetic disposition for bad knees).

I could exclaim my enjoyment and delight that I still have a great job: (libraries have tough to get a job in - I'm thankful for having a job that I still like).

eh ... I'll think about it.

i'm ok

I'll be ok. Right now, I'm in a haze. I'm at work, having been off since Wednesday afternoon. My co-workers have been so supportive.

Joe's been working too much, and has been sleeping poorly. I don't know whether he's told his work. I hope so.

Maddy's been talking about Uncle Steven dying again - her way of dealing with death. This morning, as we were getting ready for our day, I said I was still pretty sad. She said she was too. I told her that it's always ok to talk about feelings. We talked a little bit about the two babies who died and I told her that we really didn't know why they died. She looked at me and smiled and said "Isn't it great that I didn't die!" .

Wow. She hit it on the head. She is such a special kid. She is definitely someone who is helping me keep it together.

answers

The ultrasound ... same room as in April ... same result ... no heartbeat. The baby died within the last day or two. Going in tomorrow morning (7:45am) to get a test done on the baby's chromosomes (a chrorionic villus sampling or CVS) and I'm scheduled for a D&C at noon.

I totally fell apart walking into the ultrasound room initially, and again when we searched for the heartbeat. I am more calm than I could be. I've been through this before. It's not easier - it just wasn't out of the blue like last time.

It looks like I have some uterine fibroids, more than when I was pregnant with Maddy. That or something about the chromosome may be the answer as to why I miscarried twice in a year. I still don't want Maddy to be an only child. I just don't whether I can do this again, ever. The pain is just too great.

me me me, and us :)

Well, after my moaning session, we found out that we are indeed expecting. :) Very cautious - still so very early - but we are pregnant. Due July 2, 2009, at the height of summer. Wow.

Feeling ok and only nauseous once a day so far. Hormone levels are good. On extra progesterone to help little bean out. Maddy is excited. Joe is excited. We're all cautiously optimistic.

:) 32 more weeks to go.

Mid June already?

We've been crazy busy ... looking forward to no plans ... heh...like that's ever going to happen.

But today, I'm pampering myself to a massage and treating Joe and Maddy by attending the opening night of Wall-E! We're in the middle of break right now, but there is so much to do. I'm not complaining TOO loudly .... I love my job. Just a lot to do before July 7th.

We have got the flower beds all pretty & mulched, and have to get all of the weeds out of the vegetable garden this weekend. Pictures coming soon.

Getting the house in order and doing some putzing work this weekend. We're heading to Cleveland OH to celebrate the 4th, the wedding of my cousin Rebecca, and a family reunion. I think I could use about 6 days of recuperation time after we get home on the 7th. It'll be Maddy's first time in an airplane, and boy is she excited!

Busy busy

We had a busy Memorial Day weekend.

Got the house cleaned-ish on Saturday morning. Did some laundry. Left for the cottage for one night. Maddy got to spend time with her cousins Hannah and Nate. The three of them are 6 months apart in age. Quite fun to see the three of them play so nicely together. The men-folk got the dock in and did some errands and chores around the house. I was a lazy bum and did very little other than pick rocks and watch Maddy.

We got home on Sunday night and we were all exhausted. Slept in until 9am on Monday morning. It was already 70 degrees out! We got a headstart on the day ahead: spreading 7 1/2 yards of woodchips, planting the veg. garden, and weeding. It was a GLORIOUS day.

My folks, Julie, and Haddy & William came up from Madison for the day. Mom and I went to the greenhouse to get our annuals. Dad and Joe did wood-chips. Julie was in charge of the kids and assisted with going to the park, playing at the house, and doing some crafts.

But that wasn't all. We ended up with a house-ful by the end of the day: Jodi, Jed, Stacey, Dean & baby Joey came over to plant the vegetable garden; and Caroline, Zak, Teresa, Jason and Gavin came over to eat and entertain us and be entertained.

It was a busy busy weekend. It was certainly difficult coming into work this morning. Oy...I'm a beat....

:)

Steven's obituary

Eckberg, Steven

Steven Eckberg, Grand View, Wis., formerly of Green Bay, died April 20, 2008, doing what he loved best on a wonderful spring day, riding his motorcycle. He was always grateful to God for "another beautiful day in paradise". Steven enjoyed living in Grand View, where he could "coon" hunt with his best bud, "Bub" and the fishing was always good there too. Lake Superior was a great place for sailing, another of his passions. Steve loved the wind in his face, or his nose in a good book from the Drummond Library.

He was born to Clarence and Elizabeth (Betty) Eckberg on Aug. 28, 1952, in Green Bay, Wis. He is survived by his mother, brothers and sisters; also nephews and cousins.

Memorial service will be May 17, at 10 a.m. at the Oconto Catholic Cemetery in Oconto. Burial in Oconto Catholic Cemetery.

In lieu of flowers, a memorial fund has been set up at PCM Credit Union - Steven Eckberg, 781 Willard, Green Bay, WI 54304. Memorial proceeds will be donated in Steven's name to the Drummond Library.

Enough already

Steven was 56. He lived off the grid and off the land up in northern Wisconsin. He was an interesting man, had an interesting life, and was a good man.

My favorite story to tell about Uncle Steven (my father-in-law's brother) was what he brought to our house right after Madeline was born: a fresh baked loaf of bread and a frozen leg of deer. The cats were quite amazed as we ended up thawing it in the bathtub because it was so big.

This makes 3 losses. Enough already.

Motorcycle vs. deer crash
Man loses life after motorcycle hits deer.

Posted: Monday, April 21, 2008 at 10:43 a.m.

IRON COUNTY, WI -- A Wisconsin man is dead after an accident in Iron County, Wisconsin.

The crash happened on Highway 77, about four miles west of Hurley, in Pence. The victim, Steven Eckberg of Grandview, Wisconsin, hit a deer while driving his motorcycle down the road.

Eckberg was taken to Grand View Hospital in Ironwood where he was pronounced dead. He was not wearing a helmet at the time of the crash.

Peace.

no seriously, this sucks

• Maddy was sick on Thursday night. (vomiting whilst in the car-seat was NOT fun)
• I haven't been feeling well lately (at five weeks pregnant - did I mention that yet?), the nauseousness seems to have started early.
• I was in the ER with a nasty case of cellulitis. Seriously painful; dreadfully uncomfortable.
  

I'm ready to enjoy my pregnancy. I'm ready for all my family to FEEL WELL.

Pictures from the Day in Milwaukee

Mom, Samantha & Madeline at the Tea Room



Alison and Haddy



Waiting for the Lion King to start

Updates

• I'm tired. Busy - crazy busy. Happy
• I'm playing my cello tonight for the first time since The Year of the Elbow. Looking forward to it!
  
• Again, I'm feeling Brett's pain from last night's game. It was horrible that they lost, to that team, but it's not the end of the world, and it was fantastic to see that Aaron Rodgers could actually step it up!
  
• It was Joe's birthday last night - fun night had by all!
  
• It's going to snow a lot tomorrow night. Actually looking forward to it! We're under a winter storm watch with up to 7 inches expected. Let the Holidays begin!
  
• Joe gave me an early Christmas present: an HP laptop with Vista and Office 2007 installed. So far, I love it!
• Maddy is doing great and her 4th b'day will be on the 23rd. Oh my stars! How did she get so old?!
  

And for your goofy pleasure:

A test in spontaneity

Because D'Argo wasn't well, we decided it would not be in his best health or interest to go to Madison, for only one evening. We called my Mom and let her know on Wednesday. They called on Friday to let us know we were to expect them for Friday!

It was fun - a long day for Maddy true, but it was fun: I took Haddy and William and Maddy out bike-riding to the park, we had Joe's parents, his brothers, Kris and Erin, my folks and the 3 kids over for a few hours for pizza and left-overs. Everyone left around 8pm and we just crashed. It may have been the many yummy foods, or just stress. Happy Thanksgiving all away around.

:)

why?! oh why?!

Warning ... bodily fluids discussed ... not for the weak-stomached...

I should be feeling a bit relieved. I don't have to work today. It's one of the holidays the college observes. I should be feeling like today is a day I could play catch-up.

Unfortunately, my dear daughter and one of my dear cats have decided that's not to be. I'm worried about Maddy's health - she's probably having the same fall-allergen reaction that I have - throwing up mucous, etc. She doesn't have a fever, just the cough that won't quit.

Not only that, but she's had two separate blow-outs with her pull-ups at night. Unsure what's up with that, but she's woken up in the middle of the night with her bed sopping. It's getting a bit old - changing the sheets in the middle of the night with a groggy crabby child and little light

And then it comes to the dear cat. Unsure which one it is, but suspect it is darling D'Argo, the younger of the two. We found a spot on an area rug in the "office" where he's been peeing. Then another. He's had issues in the past few weeks with peeing in other places than in one of the 3 litter boxes, like on Maddy's books, papers, nearly anything left on the floor. The plus side of this is that we are MUCH more careful about cleaning up after ourselves and we keep nothing on the floors anymore.

Unfortunately, he's now climbed up on tables to pee on things now! Like her "homework" from school! GRRRRR

So, before Joe goes out and takes him up to the woods (sort of kidding there), the vet will be coming to the house to check out both of the cats next week. Yep - a house-call. Did I mention that Deci gets violently car-sick?

Ok...Enough of this ... I WILL get some good work done today. I WILL get some shopping done. I WILL get dishes washed, and even have time to take a NAP! :)

Halloween 2007

As I mentioned, Maddy decided to be a witch for Halloween last week. She was quite adorable! (Pics below).

Joe was freaky with his Jason mask on, scaring the kids with a carrot (yes, with a carrot). It was a delightful Halloween season!



The street is now FINISHED, so in the fresh dirt, we placed the tombstones!


We carved 5 pumpkins and baked the seeds. Many trick-or-treaters complimented us on them. Then they were smashed during the evening. :(






The cutie-pie cookey witch.



Before her change of mind, presenting: Maddy Vader




Joe's makeup when we scared people at the haunted house was SPOOKY!


And don't forget Pirate Gavin! He and Maddy had a blast at the ZooBoo!

In celebraton of Steve

Stephen Andrew Pontzer
Pontzer, Stephen Andrew age 59, of Plymouth, died on Thursday, October 11, 2007. He is survived by his first and second wife, Rachel Taft Pontzer; children, Zachary (Aimee) and Abigail; sisters, Betsy (Russell) Amalong, Judy (Cecil) Johnson and Nancy (George) Direnberger; brother, Dick (Carol); sister-in-law, Sheila Taft Fitzgerald; brother-in-law, Steve (Johanna) Taft; many nieces, nephews and countless devoted friends. Preceded in death by his parents, Richard and Mildred Pontzer.

Steve was born in St. Mary's, Pennsylvania, graduated from Alfred University with a B.S. in ceramic engineering and an MBA from the University of Wisconsin. For many years Steve worked as an executive in marketing and sales for Ohmeda, Novametix, PPG BioMedical, Aequitron Medical and also as a consultant to other medical device companies. Steve invented and held a patent on a blood gas probe.

He felt his greatest accomplishment was his relationship with his wife, children and the wide circle of friends with whom he had deep and enduring friendships. The family would like to express their deep gratitude to Dr. David King and the staff at the Hubert Humphrey Cancer Center.

Published in the Star Tribune from 10/12/2007 - 10/16/2007.

Go west!

Well, as far as Lake Elmo, MN anyway. My new library boss is based here and this is the first chance I've had to meet her. Did I mention it's REALLY far west. By car, it's 4 hours. 4 hours, in the car, looking at the trees that have less and less leaves, and lots of farm land. ugh. Wake me up. I think I'm going to try to fly out next month.

Anyway, I'm out in Lake Elmo, meeting the library boss and learning everything I should learn about how to run my new library. Damn. There's a lot to learn. 4 hours of training tomorrow - 4 hours tomorrow and then a tour of other libraries in the system.

You know that silly thing you say to a young child who is on their way out to play in way of teasing them? "Don't you go have any fun!" Well, on her way out of the door with her dad this morning, she teased me and said "Don't you have any fun with Cookie Monster or Oscar the Grouch at Lake Elmo!" My dear Maddy.

Alive and well

Joe is back today, after being off of work for nearly 2 weeks. He's starting a new job at the same place as a manager. He will do well. :) The surgery went well, and his recuperation went smoothly. It helped having so many women telling him to STOP LIFTING: his mother, his grandmother, his daughter and his wife.

Maddy had the week off too, and the two of them spent 4 days up at the cottage. I had to work the 2nd & 3rd but went up in the evenings to say "howdy". They were ready to come home on the 4th. Maddy LOVED being able to stay up late for the fireworks one night, a concert in the park another, and a bonfire over the weekend. It's been a challenge getting her back on schedule but it's working out ok. Oy- is she ever cranky when she doesn't get good sleep!

Pics from Cousin Visit

At Lambeau Field:

























Can you tell they were a bit pooped?















Getting ready to go on the bike-ride (though S & M ended up in the bike-trailer)















The dress-up Princesses.