My poor womb. I have had 3 D&C's in the past 8 months, two in the past fortnight. I had another one on Monday to remove more tissue and look at the uterine fibroids. Bless it, this sucks. I'm feeling marginally better, but I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired.
When I went in on Monday complaining of not feeling good - not sleeping - hadn't stopped bleeding, my doc suggested another D&C to make sure everything was ok. It turns out, I wasn't. I was in fricken labor for the past week. I was completely dilated and my uterus was trying to expel the fibroid and the GD extra tissue.
Everything went well, but I'm definitely not feeling completely great. ***sigh*** I've not been in to work yet. I'm still not able to go more than 8 hours without pain meds and I can't drive when taking them. I hope to be able to go into work tomorrow morning for at least long enough to see if there is any mail to open, questions to answer, etc.
Wish me luck. I suspect I will have another surgery in the near future to remove the fibroids. yippee. That's another fun. But right now, I just need to feel like ME!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
i'm ok
I'll be ok. Right now, I'm in a haze. I'm at work, having been off since Wednesday afternoon. My co-workers have been so supportive.
Joe's been working too much, and has been sleeping poorly. I don't know whether he's told his work. I hope so.
Maddy's been talking about Uncle Steven dying again - her way of dealing with death. This morning, as we were getting ready for our day, I said I was still pretty sad. She said she was too. I told her that it's always ok to talk about feelings. We talked a little bit about the two babies who died and I told her that we really didn't know why they died. She looked at me and smiled and said "Isn't it great that I didn't die!" .
Wow. She hit it on the head. She is such a special kid. She is definitely someone who is helping me keep it together.
Joe's been working too much, and has been sleeping poorly. I don't know whether he's told his work. I hope so.
Maddy's been talking about Uncle Steven dying again - her way of dealing with death. This morning, as we were getting ready for our day, I said I was still pretty sad. She said she was too. I told her that it's always ok to talk about feelings. We talked a little bit about the two babies who died and I told her that we really didn't know why they died. She looked at me and smiled and said "Isn't it great that I didn't die!" .
Wow. She hit it on the head. She is such a special kid. She is definitely someone who is helping me keep it together.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
answers
The ultrasound ... same room as in April ... same result ... no heartbeat. The baby died within the last day or two. Going in tomorrow morning (7:45am) to get a test done on the baby's chromosomes (a chrorionic villus sampling or CVS) and I'm scheduled for a D&C at noon.
I totally fell apart walking into the ultrasound room initially, and again when we searched for the heartbeat. I am more calm than I could be. I've been through this before. It's not easier - it just wasn't out of the blue like last time.
It looks like I have some uterine fibroids, more than when I was pregnant with Maddy. That or something about the chromosome may be the answer as to why I miscarried twice in a year. I still don't want Maddy to be an only child. I just don't whether I can do this again, ever. The pain is just too great.
I totally fell apart walking into the ultrasound room initially, and again when we searched for the heartbeat. I am more calm than I could be. I've been through this before. It's not easier - it just wasn't out of the blue like last time.
It looks like I have some uterine fibroids, more than when I was pregnant with Maddy. That or something about the chromosome may be the answer as to why I miscarried twice in a year. I still don't want Maddy to be an only child. I just don't whether I can do this again, ever. The pain is just too great.
Friday, November 07, 2008
me me me, and us :)
Well, after my moaning session, we found out that we are indeed expecting. :) Very cautious - still so very early - but we are pregnant. Due July 2, 2009, at the height of summer. Wow.
Feeling ok and only nauseous once a day so far. Hormone levels are good. On extra progesterone to help little bean out. Maddy is excited. Joe is excited. We're all cautiously optimistic.
:) 32 more weeks to go.
Feeling ok and only nauseous once a day so far. Hormone levels are good. On extra progesterone to help little bean out. Maddy is excited. Joe is excited. We're all cautiously optimistic.
:) 32 more weeks to go.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
me me me me me me me
It's been about 6 months since the miscarriage. In many ways, it's been the longest 6 months. I've been trying to grieve without dwelling. I've had colleagues and friends tiptoe around me as they experience their pregnancies and relatively happy births. I know it's not been easy to be around me.
My cycle had been pretty predictable and I had been able to pinpoint pretty accurately ovulation when we were trying. Not so anymore. Of course not.
I'm currently waiting impatiently to begin my cycle. For over 3 weeks now. I know I'm not pregnant. Even got a blood test to confirm. So my doc had me take progesterone to jumpstart the cycle. So far - nothing.
I think the frustrating part of all of this is now that I'm WANTING to get pregnant, it's difficult to keep it in perspective. I'm not getting any younger, and I'm battling that age-factor thing.
I know, I know - scores of women older than me have had babies. I don't care. Part of me wants to be pregnant before November 8th comes around - the previous due date. It's looming and I hate it .
I know everything will be ok. I DON'T believe everything happens for a reason, (please don't tell me that) but I know I'll be ok. Joe and I are ok. Maddy is great. I have a great job (1 year anniversary on the 1st of October!). I just don't want Maddy to be an only child.
ok... enough about me ... for now :)
My cycle had been pretty predictable and I had been able to pinpoint pretty accurately ovulation when we were trying. Not so anymore. Of course not.
I'm currently waiting impatiently to begin my cycle. For over 3 weeks now. I know I'm not pregnant. Even got a blood test to confirm. So my doc had me take progesterone to jumpstart the cycle. So far - nothing.
I think the frustrating part of all of this is now that I'm WANTING to get pregnant, it's difficult to keep it in perspective. I'm not getting any younger, and I'm battling that age-factor thing.
I know, I know - scores of women older than me have had babies. I don't care. Part of me wants to be pregnant before November 8th comes around - the previous due date. It's looming and I hate it .
I know everything will be ok. I DON'T believe everything happens for a reason, (please don't tell me that) but I know I'll be ok. Joe and I are ok. Maddy is great. I have a great job (1 year anniversary on the 1st of October!). I just don't want Maddy to be an only child.
ok... enough about me ... for now :)
Monday, September 22, 2008
Right Now ...
Instructions:
Take a picture of yourself right now.
Don’t change your clothes, don’t fix your hair…just take a picture.
Post that picture with NO editing.
Post these instructions with your picture.
Ok Jenica ... you started it ... see picture of me (with pink hair) looking at your page. :)
next?
Monday, September 15, 2008
I love this coffee cup! AND the glasses have the same pink ribbon logo too!
I love this coffee cup! AND the glasses have the same pink ribbon logo too!
Originally uploaded by Karen54301
Sunday, September 07, 2008
About Sarah Palin
It's too important NOT to link to this letter from Anne Kilkenny about Sarah Palin.
Librarians Against Palin!
Librarians Against Palin!
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
New kitty...
Introducing Smokey the cat. 8 years old. 13 pounds. A sweet, even-tempered cat who loves to sleep with anyone. Adopted / saved from the Humane Society. A sweet boy.
First day of 4K!
Our little girl ain't so little anymore! Here she is, on her first day at 4K at the YWCA!
Monday, August 25, 2008
life
Frankly, I'm surprised I'm not a bit more insane. Life has been hectic. Our summer is nearly over. Maddy will be going to 4-year kindergarten starting next TUESDAY, and we're tired. However, we ARE alive and fairly sane.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
sick
I'm sick. It sucks. I'm trying to get over whatever crud I've developed, but it's wearing me out! grrrr...
Friday, June 27, 2008
Mid June already?
We've been crazy busy ... looking forward to no plans ... heh...like that's ever going to happen.
But today, I'm pampering myself to a massage and treating Joe and Maddy by attending the opening night of Wall-E! We're in the middle of break right now, but there is so much to do. I'm not complaining TOO loudly .... I love my job. Just a lot to do before July 7th.
We have got the flower beds all pretty & mulched, and have to get all of the weeds out of the vegetable garden this weekend. Pictures coming soon.
Getting the house in order and doing some putzing work this weekend. We're heading to Cleveland OH to celebrate the 4th, the wedding of my cousin Rebecca, and a family reunion. I think I could use about 6 days of recuperation time after we get home on the 7th. It'll be Maddy's first time in an airplane, and boy is she excited!
But today, I'm pampering myself to a massage and treating Joe and Maddy by attending the opening night of Wall-E! We're in the middle of break right now, but there is so much to do. I'm not complaining TOO loudly .... I love my job. Just a lot to do before July 7th.
We have got the flower beds all pretty & mulched, and have to get all of the weeds out of the vegetable garden this weekend. Pictures coming soon.
Getting the house in order and doing some putzing work this weekend. We're heading to Cleveland OH to celebrate the 4th, the wedding of my cousin Rebecca, and a family reunion. I think I could use about 6 days of recuperation time after we get home on the 7th. It'll be Maddy's first time in an airplane, and boy is she excited!
Monday, June 09, 2008
nothing like a half-assed apology
It was a horrible end of a wonderful place. There were a lot of hard feelings. More than a few accusations. And still after 2 years, it hurts like hell.
And the one man who (some have argued) could have helped the Weidner Center from drowning is finally leaving town. Many are celebrating.
In Sunday's (June 8, 2008) Green Bay Press Gazette, he might have finally apologized; he may have admitted he was wrong. Can it be true?
Good riddance.
And the one man who (some have argued) could have helped the Weidner Center from drowning is finally leaving town. Many are celebrating.
In Sunday's (June 8, 2008) Green Bay Press Gazette, he might have finally apologized; he may have admitted he was wrong. Can it be true?
I can only hope that he doesn't screw up lives at the Western Washington University where he is headed.There've been tough decisions, but I think they were absolutely necessary ones. The Weidner Center — I feel very good that it's on a financially sustainable basis now, but my biggest mistake was listening to the "experts" about the Weidner Center, instead of the very clear signals the marketplace was sending.
The model of bringing in Broadway shows to cover the overhead was no longer working — every week of Broadway we put out there, we lost a quarter of a million dollars, so as a consequence over a course of about three years, we had $5 million in red ink trying to keep that going under the old model. If I'd done a better job and had more experience, I'd have gone to the new model earlier.
Good riddance.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
phone log
Dad: "Hello?"
Me: "Hiya, Pop! Wanna feel older than you might already be feeling?"
Dad: "Uh oh, now what?"
Me: "I'm getting bifocals."
pause
Dad: "How old are you?"
snort
Me: "Hiya, Pop! Wanna feel older than you might already be feeling?"
Dad: "Uh oh, now what?"
Me: "I'm getting bifocals."
pause
Dad: "How old are you?"
snort
Yeah...it's like that. I'm 38 1/2, thank-you-very-much, and I'm getting bifocals. Yippeee.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Busy busy
We had a busy Memorial Day weekend.
Got the house cleaned-ish on Saturday morning. Did some laundry. Left for the cottage for one night. Maddy got to spend time with her cousins Hannah and Nate. The three of them are 6 months apart in age. Quite fun to see the three of them play so nicely together. The men-folk got the dock in and did some errands and chores around the house. I was a lazy bum and did very little other than pick rocks and watch Maddy.
We got home on Sunday night and we were all exhausted. Slept in until 9am on Monday morning. It was already 70 degrees out! We got a headstart on the day ahead: spreading 7 1/2 yards of woodchips, planting the veg. garden, and weeding. It was a GLORIOUS day.
My folks, Julie, and Haddy & William came up from Madison for the day. Mom and I went to the greenhouse to get our annuals. Dad and Joe did wood-chips. Julie was in charge of the kids and assisted with going to the park, playing at the house, and doing some crafts.
But that wasn't all. We ended up with a house-ful by the end of the day: Jodi, Jed, Stacey, Dean & baby Joey came over to plant the vegetable garden; and Caroline, Zak, Teresa, Jason and Gavin came over to eat and entertain us and be entertained.
It was a busy busy weekend. It was certainly difficult coming into work this morning. Oy...I'm a beat....
:)
Got the house cleaned-ish on Saturday morning. Did some laundry. Left for the cottage for one night. Maddy got to spend time with her cousins Hannah and Nate. The three of them are 6 months apart in age. Quite fun to see the three of them play so nicely together. The men-folk got the dock in and did some errands and chores around the house. I was a lazy bum and did very little other than pick rocks and watch Maddy.
We got home on Sunday night and we were all exhausted. Slept in until 9am on Monday morning. It was already 70 degrees out! We got a headstart on the day ahead: spreading 7 1/2 yards of woodchips, planting the veg. garden, and weeding. It was a GLORIOUS day.
My folks, Julie, and Haddy & William came up from Madison for the day. Mom and I went to the greenhouse to get our annuals. Dad and Joe did wood-chips. Julie was in charge of the kids and assisted with going to the park, playing at the house, and doing some crafts.
But that wasn't all. We ended up with a house-ful by the end of the day: Jodi, Jed, Stacey, Dean & baby Joey came over to plant the vegetable garden; and Caroline, Zak, Teresa, Jason and Gavin came over to eat and entertain us and be entertained.
It was a busy busy weekend. It was certainly difficult coming into work this morning. Oy...I'm a beat....
:)
Friday, May 16, 2008
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