on loss

I had a miscarriage yesterday. During my first ob appointment and my first ultrasound, we found that there was no heartbeat. Joe was thankfully able to make this first appointment. I was so thankful that we were able to have at least a picture to take home as well. It was real, at least for a little while.

Because my body hadn't yet figured out that the fetus was viable, it hadn't yet begun to spontaneously miscarry, so I had a D&C in the afternoon and was home by 8pm.

Everyone at the hospital was fantastic and treated us and our loss with great respect. I don't hold to the thought of "everything happens for a reason." I do, however, think that "there is a reason for this to have happened."

The best thing anyone said to me was the gal who walked me down to the car. I had a few women who told us they were sorry for our loss, one who talked insistently about "God's plan" (whatever), and many who were just there to hold my hand and let me and Joe go through our emotions.

The best thing that was said though was that one gal who wished us only one thing: hope.

I know it's not uncommon.

Miscarriage is the most common type of pregnancy loss, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (ACOG). Studies reveal that anywhere from 10-25% of all clinically recognized pregnancies will end in miscarriage.
American Pregnancy Association

As a woman of "advanced maternal age", ie, over 35, I had a 20%-35% risk.

We'll be ok. We'll be able to try again in a few months, I know. It's going to be a scary road. But we will be ok.

Thanks for listening and thinking of us.