2009=Year of renewal.
I really am glad we went through everything we went through in 2008. I appreciate my health, my family and my sanity so much more. (ok, well, as much sanity as I might have anyway).
I'm looking forward to spending 6 days with Joe and Maddy at Walt Disney World from January 22 through the 27th. I'm looking forward to just meandering around the resort, watching the delight in a young child's eyes. I'm looking forward to simply being.
I'll be back with pictures and how we spent our time.
Hope you all are well!
Monday, January 19, 2009
Thursday, December 11, 2008
oh my poor womb
My poor womb. I have had 3 D&C's in the past 8 months, two in the past fortnight. I had another one on Monday to remove more tissue and look at the uterine fibroids. Bless it, this sucks. I'm feeling marginally better, but I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired.
When I went in on Monday complaining of not feeling good - not sleeping - hadn't stopped bleeding, my doc suggested another D&C to make sure everything was ok. It turns out, I wasn't. I was in fricken labor for the past week. I was completely dilated and my uterus was trying to expel the fibroid and the GD extra tissue.
Everything went well, but I'm definitely not feeling completely great. ***sigh*** I've not been in to work yet. I'm still not able to go more than 8 hours without pain meds and I can't drive when taking them. I hope to be able to go into work tomorrow morning for at least long enough to see if there is any mail to open, questions to answer, etc.
Wish me luck. I suspect I will have another surgery in the near future to remove the fibroids. yippee. That's another fun. But right now, I just need to feel like ME!
When I went in on Monday complaining of not feeling good - not sleeping - hadn't stopped bleeding, my doc suggested another D&C to make sure everything was ok. It turns out, I wasn't. I was in fricken labor for the past week. I was completely dilated and my uterus was trying to expel the fibroid and the GD extra tissue.
Everything went well, but I'm definitely not feeling completely great. ***sigh*** I've not been in to work yet. I'm still not able to go more than 8 hours without pain meds and I can't drive when taking them. I hope to be able to go into work tomorrow morning for at least long enough to see if there is any mail to open, questions to answer, etc.
Wish me luck. I suspect I will have another surgery in the near future to remove the fibroids. yippee. That's another fun. But right now, I just need to feel like ME!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
i'm ok
I'll be ok. Right now, I'm in a haze. I'm at work, having been off since Wednesday afternoon. My co-workers have been so supportive.
Joe's been working too much, and has been sleeping poorly. I don't know whether he's told his work. I hope so.
Maddy's been talking about Uncle Steven dying again - her way of dealing with death. This morning, as we were getting ready for our day, I said I was still pretty sad. She said she was too. I told her that it's always ok to talk about feelings. We talked a little bit about the two babies who died and I told her that we really didn't know why they died. She looked at me and smiled and said "Isn't it great that I didn't die!" .
Wow. She hit it on the head. She is such a special kid. She is definitely someone who is helping me keep it together.
Joe's been working too much, and has been sleeping poorly. I don't know whether he's told his work. I hope so.
Maddy's been talking about Uncle Steven dying again - her way of dealing with death. This morning, as we were getting ready for our day, I said I was still pretty sad. She said she was too. I told her that it's always ok to talk about feelings. We talked a little bit about the two babies who died and I told her that we really didn't know why they died. She looked at me and smiled and said "Isn't it great that I didn't die!" .
Wow. She hit it on the head. She is such a special kid. She is definitely someone who is helping me keep it together.
Thursday, November 20, 2008
answers
The ultrasound ... same room as in April ... same result ... no heartbeat. The baby died within the last day or two. Going in tomorrow morning (7:45am) to get a test done on the baby's chromosomes (a chrorionic villus sampling or CVS) and I'm scheduled for a D&C at noon.
I totally fell apart walking into the ultrasound room initially, and again when we searched for the heartbeat. I am more calm than I could be. I've been through this before. It's not easier - it just wasn't out of the blue like last time.
It looks like I have some uterine fibroids, more than when I was pregnant with Maddy. That or something about the chromosome may be the answer as to why I miscarried twice in a year. I still don't want Maddy to be an only child. I just don't whether I can do this again, ever. The pain is just too great.
I totally fell apart walking into the ultrasound room initially, and again when we searched for the heartbeat. I am more calm than I could be. I've been through this before. It's not easier - it just wasn't out of the blue like last time.
It looks like I have some uterine fibroids, more than when I was pregnant with Maddy. That or something about the chromosome may be the answer as to why I miscarried twice in a year. I still don't want Maddy to be an only child. I just don't whether I can do this again, ever. The pain is just too great.
Friday, November 07, 2008
me me me, and us :)
Well, after my moaning session, we found out that we are indeed expecting. :) Very cautious - still so very early - but we are pregnant. Due July 2, 2009, at the height of summer. Wow.
Feeling ok and only nauseous once a day so far. Hormone levels are good. On extra progesterone to help little bean out. Maddy is excited. Joe is excited. We're all cautiously optimistic.
:) 32 more weeks to go.
Feeling ok and only nauseous once a day so far. Hormone levels are good. On extra progesterone to help little bean out. Maddy is excited. Joe is excited. We're all cautiously optimistic.
:) 32 more weeks to go.
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
me me me me me me me
It's been about 6 months since the miscarriage. In many ways, it's been the longest 6 months. I've been trying to grieve without dwelling. I've had colleagues and friends tiptoe around me as they experience their pregnancies and relatively happy births. I know it's not been easy to be around me.
My cycle had been pretty predictable and I had been able to pinpoint pretty accurately ovulation when we were trying. Not so anymore. Of course not.
I'm currently waiting impatiently to begin my cycle. For over 3 weeks now. I know I'm not pregnant. Even got a blood test to confirm. So my doc had me take progesterone to jumpstart the cycle. So far - nothing.
I think the frustrating part of all of this is now that I'm WANTING to get pregnant, it's difficult to keep it in perspective. I'm not getting any younger, and I'm battling that age-factor thing.
I know, I know - scores of women older than me have had babies. I don't care. Part of me wants to be pregnant before November 8th comes around - the previous due date. It's looming and I hate it .
I know everything will be ok. I DON'T believe everything happens for a reason, (please don't tell me that) but I know I'll be ok. Joe and I are ok. Maddy is great. I have a great job (1 year anniversary on the 1st of October!). I just don't want Maddy to be an only child.
ok... enough about me ... for now :)
My cycle had been pretty predictable and I had been able to pinpoint pretty accurately ovulation when we were trying. Not so anymore. Of course not.
I'm currently waiting impatiently to begin my cycle. For over 3 weeks now. I know I'm not pregnant. Even got a blood test to confirm. So my doc had me take progesterone to jumpstart the cycle. So far - nothing.
I think the frustrating part of all of this is now that I'm WANTING to get pregnant, it's difficult to keep it in perspective. I'm not getting any younger, and I'm battling that age-factor thing.
I know, I know - scores of women older than me have had babies. I don't care. Part of me wants to be pregnant before November 8th comes around - the previous due date. It's looming and I hate it .
I know everything will be ok. I DON'T believe everything happens for a reason, (please don't tell me that) but I know I'll be ok. Joe and I are ok. Maddy is great. I have a great job (1 year anniversary on the 1st of October!). I just don't want Maddy to be an only child.
ok... enough about me ... for now :)
Monday, September 22, 2008
Right Now ...
Instructions:
Take a picture of yourself right now.
Don’t change your clothes, don’t fix your hair…just take a picture.
Post that picture with NO editing.
Post these instructions with your picture.
Ok Jenica ... you started it ... see picture of me (with pink hair) looking at your page. :)
next?
Monday, September 15, 2008
I love this coffee cup! AND the glasses have the same pink ribbon logo too!
I love this coffee cup! AND the glasses have the same pink ribbon logo too!
Originally uploaded by Karen54301
Sunday, September 07, 2008
About Sarah Palin
It's too important NOT to link to this letter from Anne Kilkenny about Sarah Palin.
Librarians Against Palin!
Librarians Against Palin!
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
New kitty...
Introducing Smokey the cat. 8 years old. 13 pounds. A sweet, even-tempered cat who loves to sleep with anyone. Adopted / saved from the Humane Society. A sweet boy.
First day of 4K!
Our little girl ain't so little anymore! Here she is, on her first day at 4K at the YWCA!
Monday, August 25, 2008
life
Frankly, I'm surprised I'm not a bit more insane. Life has been hectic. Our summer is nearly over. Maddy will be going to 4-year kindergarten starting next TUESDAY, and we're tired. However, we ARE alive and fairly sane.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
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