And she's off....

...to Kindergarten, that is! Maddie's already met her teacher - Miss Melisa - and knows some of the kids in her classroom, but today was different.

It's funny how parents compare our kids to everyone else's. I know Maddie's a fantastic kid. She has a great sense of humor, a growing sense of what's right and what's wrong. She's been reading for a year, and the other day stunned me by telling me the right sum of 8 + 4. She's not ordinary fool, my kid!

I want her to be the great kid in Kindergarten - the kid who makes friends to the lonely kids, the kid that doesn't give a hoot to what others think of her or her hobbies or her friends - the kid who doesn't mind her crazy parents. Don't know whether any of that will happen, but she's off to a fantastic start.

Now, excuse me while I dry my eyes....

16 weeks & 5 days

It's been a month since I've blogged. I'm feeling quite lazy lately. My poor vegetable garden is more weed than vegetables. Perhaps my mood is cuz we haven't had decent rain in a long while - perhaps it's cuz I'm still puking every morning. That takes a lot of out of me.

I'm doing well - 16 weeks & 5 days. My belly is rounding out. I'm looking less lumpy and more pregnant. I've been able to feel baby moving around a bit since week 14. It's been hiding in the back more when we go to listen to the heartbeat. Stinker.

I only have a few items of my non-maternity clothes I can wear lately. This pregnancy, I am able to spend money on clothes for work, which is nice. Styles have certainly changed since I was pregnant with Madeline 6 years ago!!!

We have our next ultrasound on August 4th - just 2 short weeks. It's a big one where they look at the baby's organs and heart and possibly even tell what 'flavor' it is. Yes, we are going to attempt to identify the sex of the baby. We might even tell you if you ask nicely. :) We will wait until baby is born to name it officially. Madeline is sure the names will be either Isaac or Purple Iris. I told her we'll take those names into consideration.

What now?

If you are reading this, undoubtedly you've noticed I haven't spent a lot of time blogging. Looking back this past year, it's been a vehicle to vent my frustrations and anguish about the miscarriages. So now what the heck should I use it for?

I could talk about the weather in Green Bay, Wisconsin: (it's 9°F, feels like: 5°F today).

I could talk about Madeline: (she's 5 going on 13; still loves princess; she just told me she wanted to be an astronaut; she knows the order of the planets; she is really funny).

I could whine about how much my knee is bothering me: (I blame it on my father sharing his genetic disposition for bad knees).

I could exclaim my enjoyment and delight that I still have a great job: (libraries have tough to get a job in - I'm thankful for having a job that I still like).

eh ... I'll think about it.

My baby's growing up

She's lost now 2 teeth! How the heck can that be? It was just yesterday when she was a tiny kid ... (March 2005)



January 2009 (she's the one on the right)

i'm ok

I'll be ok. Right now, I'm in a haze. I'm at work, having been off since Wednesday afternoon. My co-workers have been so supportive.

Joe's been working too much, and has been sleeping poorly. I don't know whether he's told his work. I hope so.

Maddy's been talking about Uncle Steven dying again - her way of dealing with death. This morning, as we were getting ready for our day, I said I was still pretty sad. She said she was too. I told her that it's always ok to talk about feelings. We talked a little bit about the two babies who died and I told her that we really didn't know why they died. She looked at me and smiled and said "Isn't it great that I didn't die!" .

Wow. She hit it on the head. She is such a special kid. She is definitely someone who is helping me keep it together.

me me me, and us :)

Well, after my moaning session, we found out that we are indeed expecting. :) Very cautious - still so very early - but we are pregnant. Due July 2, 2009, at the height of summer. Wow.

Feeling ok and only nauseous once a day so far. Hormone levels are good. On extra progesterone to help little bean out. Maddy is excited. Joe is excited. We're all cautiously optimistic.

:) 32 more weeks to go.

First day of 4K!

Our little girl ain't so little anymore! Here she is, on her first day at 4K at the YWCA!

life

Frankly, I'm surprised I'm not a bit more insane. Life has been hectic. Our summer is nearly over. Maddy will be going to 4-year kindergarten starting next TUESDAY, and we're tired. However, we ARE alive and fairly sane.

Big girl bike!

We're ok

It's amazing how much one's body and mind can recover from such loss as we've experienced lately. That's not to say we're 100%, but we're ok.

Every once in a while, Maddy will look at me with such emotion and say how sad she is that the baby died. There's been a lot of hugging and a lot of downtime for the three of us as a family. Maddy's taken to sleeping on the floor and wanting us to sleep with her. We do what we can, but it's been a bit frustrating, especially if we have work to do. I've ordered some books to hopefully assist her (and us) in this phase.

We'll be honoring Steven's life this coming Saturday. It will be a small gathering in Oconto.

We're ok. Spring is here. The seeds have been started for the vegetable garden and have begun to sprout under the grow-lights in the basement. We're planning the patio. Joe's dug a trench between the house and garage.

It's all going to be ok. :)

on hormones, and other fun things

Hormones suck in general. They rule a girl's life. Seriously. Girls unite. Damn.

I'm 9 weeks pregnant. This pregnancy is similar to my first with Madeline. With Maddy, I was sick for 9 months. Threw up every 3rd day. It was not fun. I know every pregnancy is different, but oh my dear stars, PLEASE be very very different! I've not been feeling the best so far. I won't disgust you with my tales of "praying to the porcelain gods". You get the idea.

I have a stash of saltines and peppermint tea under my desk. I have been going to sleep really amazingly early, taking naps when I can. My hair is not behaving and I am finding I can't use the same products in it. My regular clothes are too tight. I'm only 9 frickin' weeks along, but I'm finding myself in a few maternity clothes already.

Ok, enough complaining. I'm ready to ENJOY being pregnant! As I tell my students: "Attitude IS everything."

I'm just not ready to give up the saltines just quite yet!

no seriously, this sucks

• Maddy was sick on Thursday night. (vomiting whilst in the car-seat was NOT fun)
• I haven't been feeling well lately (at five weeks pregnant - did I mention that yet?), the nauseousness seems to have started early.
• I was in the ER with a nasty case of cellulitis. Seriously painful; dreadfully uncomfortable.
  

I'm ready to enjoy my pregnancy. I'm ready for all my family to FEEL WELL.

4 Year-Old Kindergarten

Oh boy. Decisions to make.

The Green Bay public school district will be offering 4K this coming fall. It's only 3 1/4 hours for 4 days a week.

She's very smart (of course) and does quite good at the YWCA (4 days a week now).

• Is Maddy ready for 4-year K?
• Are we ready?

hmmmm....

Thoughts?

Winter in Wisconsin

Updates

• I'm tired. Busy - crazy busy. Happy
• I'm playing my cello tonight for the first time since The Year of the Elbow. Looking forward to it!
  
• Again, I'm feeling Brett's pain from last night's game. It was horrible that they lost, to that team, but it's not the end of the world, and it was fantastic to see that Aaron Rodgers could actually step it up!
  
• It was Joe's birthday last night - fun night had by all!
  
• It's going to snow a lot tomorrow night. Actually looking forward to it! We're under a winter storm watch with up to 7 inches expected. Let the Holidays begin!
  
• Joe gave me an early Christmas present: an HP laptop with Vista and Office 2007 installed. So far, I love it!
• Maddy is doing great and her 4th b'day will be on the 23rd. Oh my stars! How did she get so old?!
  

And for your goofy pleasure:

why?! oh why?!

Warning ... bodily fluids discussed ... not for the weak-stomached...

I should be feeling a bit relieved. I don't have to work today. It's one of the holidays the college observes. I should be feeling like today is a day I could play catch-up.

Unfortunately, my dear daughter and one of my dear cats have decided that's not to be. I'm worried about Maddy's health - she's probably having the same fall-allergen reaction that I have - throwing up mucous, etc. She doesn't have a fever, just the cough that won't quit.

Not only that, but she's had two separate blow-outs with her pull-ups at night. Unsure what's up with that, but she's woken up in the middle of the night with her bed sopping. It's getting a bit old - changing the sheets in the middle of the night with a groggy crabby child and little light

And then it comes to the dear cat. Unsure which one it is, but suspect it is darling D'Argo, the younger of the two. We found a spot on an area rug in the "office" where he's been peeing. Then another. He's had issues in the past few weeks with peeing in other places than in one of the 3 litter boxes, like on Maddy's books, papers, nearly anything left on the floor. The plus side of this is that we are MUCH more careful about cleaning up after ourselves and we keep nothing on the floors anymore.

Unfortunately, he's now climbed up on tables to pee on things now! Like her "homework" from school! GRRRRR

So, before Joe goes out and takes him up to the woods (sort of kidding there), the vet will be coming to the house to check out both of the cats next week. Yep - a house-call. Did I mention that Deci gets violently car-sick?

Ok...Enough of this ... I WILL get some good work done today. I WILL get some shopping done. I WILL get dishes washed, and even have time to take a NAP! :)

Halloween 2007

As I mentioned, Maddy decided to be a witch for Halloween last week. She was quite adorable! (Pics below).

Joe was freaky with his Jason mask on, scaring the kids with a carrot (yes, with a carrot). It was a delightful Halloween season!



The street is now FINISHED, so in the fresh dirt, we placed the tombstones!


We carved 5 pumpkins and baked the seeds. Many trick-or-treaters complimented us on them. Then they were smashed during the evening. :(






The cutie-pie cookey witch.



Before her change of mind, presenting: Maddy Vader




Joe's makeup when we scared people at the haunted house was SPOOKY!


And don't forget Pirate Gavin! He and Maddy had a blast at the ZooBoo!

Poor Maddy...

We have this rule about Halloween that I attribute to my evil parents. My sisters and I weren't allowed anything "cutsy" for Halloween - Halloween is for SCARY things. Thusly, I made my daughter choose something scary for the holiday. She chose Darth Vader. She's adorable!



The girls were able to dress up in the costumes last night in dance class. I didn't see her, so as I tucked her in last night, I asked innocently enough about what the other girls were wearing. She named them: Princess, Barbie, Glinda the Good Witch, Evil Witch, Darth Vader...then she stopped and said, "I wanted to be as beautiful as they were!" and she started to cry. Oh.My.Stars. My daughter, not yet four, has become clued in as to the "girly girl" stuff. I knew she liked the princess dresses, and loves dancing or playing the part of yon "girly girl". She was inconsolable. Poor kid. I felt like a horrible mom, making her "different" than the other girls!



I am adamant that she doesn't follow in everyone else's footsteps. I want her to be happy in her own skin. I want her to feel beautiful even in Darth Vader's costume. The cape is wonderful!



*sigh* So, this morning came around and I cautiously asked her whether she wanted to take her costume to Nana's. "I have an idea, Mom," she says, "Why don't I wear the witch costume like I did last night?" We might have a witch again on our hands. And that's ok.

Go west!

Well, as far as Lake Elmo, MN anyway. My new library boss is based here and this is the first chance I've had to meet her. Did I mention it's REALLY far west. By car, it's 4 hours. 4 hours, in the car, looking at the trees that have less and less leaves, and lots of farm land. ugh. Wake me up. I think I'm going to try to fly out next month.

Anyway, I'm out in Lake Elmo, meeting the library boss and learning everything I should learn about how to run my new library. Damn. There's a lot to learn. 4 hours of training tomorrow - 4 hours tomorrow and then a tour of other libraries in the system.

You know that silly thing you say to a young child who is on their way out to play in way of teasing them? "Don't you go have any fun!" Well, on her way out of the door with her dad this morning, she teased me and said "Don't you have any fun with Cookie Monster or Oscar the Grouch at Lake Elmo!" My dear Maddy.

Recap Week #1

Wow. What a week! Here's a brief rundown as to how the first week went.

• Updated and modified the canned syllabus and assignment sheet.
• Taught two sections of class.
• Installed software on computer.
  
• Put together dictionary stand.
  
• Created signs for library.
• Converged Google calendar and Outlook calendar into one calendar and uploaded all to my PocketPC.
• Made arrangements for this week's trip to Lake Elmo for library training.
• Made arrangements for next week's WLA conference here in GB.
  
• Went to Civic Symphony practice for sectionals. MUST practice!
• Sent first email out to all staff about circulation of materials. Online catalog isn't yet available - oh well. Little at a time.
• Figuring out slowly how to balance the 3 different parts of my job.
  
• Took pictures of my new library.
  

There is a grand total of one wall of shelving. I must remember to measure the length of this wall. Lots of room for collection expansion. Other librarians in the system (about 15 total) assisted in making lists of must-have items for the courses being offered thus far. My library boss came in a few days to catalog those on the shelves thus far.


Yep - two walls of windows! I face the entrance - not at all stuck in the back of the college like some other colleges.


Everyone entering the college has to go down the hallway on the otherside of this window/wall.


Very modern feel. The lights are green. The lights in the hallway are amber. How very Green Bay of them. :)


Lots of tables and chairs.


This is the entrance to the library. Everyone has to see me when they enter. :)


On to week #2.

• Hopefully Maddy will get to bed before I get home tonight (which is around 9:45pm). We have a VERY early morning on Tuesdays (I get to get to school before 7:30am). Unfortunately there aren't many morning people in my T/T class. ugh.
  
• I am looking forward to meeting my library boss on Thursday! I'm not looking forward to spending 2 nights away and driving for about 4 hours to get there, but it's not for a long time.
  
• The weather is going to be cooling down after today's crazy humid hot day (thankfully) so Halloween IS coming!
  

Thanks for all of your encouragement and virtual hugs! So far, I am glad I took the leap and took this path. It's damn scary, but it's all good.