Tuesday, November 25, 2008

i'm ok

I'll be ok. Right now, I'm in a haze. I'm at work, having been off since Wednesday afternoon. My co-workers have been so supportive.

Joe's been working too much, and has been sleeping poorly. I don't know whether he's told his work. I hope so.

Maddy's been talking about Uncle Steven dying again - her way of dealing with death. This morning, as we were getting ready for our day, I said I was still pretty sad. She said she was too. I told her that it's always ok to talk about feelings. We talked a little bit about the two babies who died and I told her that we really didn't know why they died. She looked at me and smiled and said "Isn't it great that I didn't die!" .

Wow. She hit it on the head. She is such a special kid. She is definitely someone who is helping me keep it together.
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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

oh, my, I am so sorry.
I lost a baby just before my daughter's second birthday... we talked about how that tiny baby had to fly away, but we would all stay here... a month or so later, she told her daddy, "We need to get a new tiny baby for Mommy's belly."
It's hard to feel blessed with the child we have and mourn the ones we've lost at the same time, but there it is.

7:42 PM
KarenE said...

Thank you, Kathleen. It is, isn't it. This is the 2nd miscarriage in 7 months. I don't think Maddy, who will be 5 on December 23, believes me when I told her I actually had been pregnant. I didn't look at all like the other women who we've known.

Oh well. We are blessed. She's a hoot. But I feel oddly certain that the two lost children will someday find their way back to us. I don't know how or when. Maybe in another lifetime.

All I know is that I'm grateful that I do have a fairly optimistic point of view. That in itself is a blessing.

Thanks for everything.

8:14 PM

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